While in Dallas, I went here:
American Airlines Center

To watch last year's national champions play basketball: 

I saw two old UNC players (Haywood and Wright) and Emmett Smith (in the crowd). Basketball games, to me, are the most interesting sport to watch live.  I really enjoyed the game (even though it was way too late and I was super tired).  The arena is one of the prettiest that I have seen.  It was extremely attractive and awe inspiring at night (with all the huge tv screens mounted on the side, that lit up the entire night sky and made it seem like it was day outside). Downtown Dallas is also one of the prettiest big cities that I have travelled to (it does not beat DC), but it beats the pants of Chicago. 

Tuesday lunch:
Sandwiches from Jason's deli
Peanut butter cookies from me

Tuesday night travelling dinner:
Twisted Root Burger - Bison burger, cheddar, and onions with sweet potato chips (4/5 starts - good, but not jaw dropping amazing).  The decor was interesting, tendy, and fun.   The best part was that they gave you a fake name for each order:
* I was Jackie Kennady
* my trainer was Lebron James
* James Stewart
* Fairy Godmother

Happy Birthday, Anna!

I am so proud of all your hard work in school.  You are going to be a wonderful, amazing nurse!! It has been so much fun watching you turn into a beautiful, loving wife. I am very thankful for your friendship.  :)  Thank you for not throwing any more candle holders at me or making me teach you hymns while we scrubbed the baseboards in the kitchen with toothbrushes.   

I love you!

Granola

For several years now, since it dawned on me how cheap all the ingredients in granola were and how expensive it was at the store, I have been trying to make granola that I like at home.  The first thing I realized was that most granola recipes call for 2 sticks of melted butter or a cup of oil.  I thought, there has to be a better way.  I tried substituting the oil with apple sauce and sweet potato puree.  Nothing worked until I found this recipe in Taste of Home (that didn't call for ANY oil or butter) and tweaked it with a few alterations of my own (I cut the sugar in half, added coconut and almonds).  After several batches (and double batches) of this recipe, I can finally declare that I have succeeded. 

So in case you need a good for you, delicious granola recipe, I have listed mine below.  If you find in not sweet enough, feel free it up the sugar.  The original recipe also calls for 1tsp of maple extract, but I just double the vanilla.  

Granola
Yield: 9 cups

Ingredients:
* 8 cups old-fashion oats (not the quick cook ones, but not the expensive ones either, the ones that take 5 minutes to cook, not the 1 minute to cook oats... this is almost an entire big canister)
* 1/2 - 1 cup shredded coconut (I use a heavy 1 cup - I really like toasted coconut)
* 1/2 - 1 cup chopped or diced almonds (or pecans if you want to splurge, almonds are cheaper).  I roughly chop up my almonds and sometimes I throw them in whole. 
* 3/4 cup brown sugar
* 1/2 cup water
* 1 tsp salt
* 2 tsp vanilla
* 1 cup raisins
* 1 cup craisins







1. Mix oats, coconut and almonds together in A LARGE bowl (I end up having to use two bowls). 
2. Mix water, sugar, salt, and vanilla together.  Pour over the oats mixture.  Mix with your hands.  
3. Dump the mixture onto two cookie sheets (I have two 10" x 15" pans that have a lip around the outside, that work wonderfully for this - they came from Hannah for one of my wedding showers - thanks, Hannah!!!!)
4. Bake at 350 for 25 - 30 minutes, stirring every 10 minutes.
5. Remove and cool on wire racks (to cool faster) or just on the counter.  As they cool or after they are cool, mix in the raisins and craisins.  


Store in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks. Eat with milk (my favorite) or yogurt (Jared's favorite).   

A few notes on travelling

1. There was snow on the ground in Baltimore.

2. It was 78 degrees in Dallas. 

3. A man that I work with told me that Dallas had colder winters than Salisbury.  I quickly plotted the average temperatures from both cities and sent it to him.  Sby averages 10 - 15 degrees LOWER than Dallas every month. 

4. My seat on the flight was in the last row. That bothers some people, I really don't care.  I am happy as a clam getting off the plane last, as long as the plane is on the ground.  Once the plane lands, I honestly don't care how long it takes to get off the plane (especially when it is cold outside). 

5.  People in cell phones talk loudly... some of them are very annoying... some of them are very entertaining. 

6. I smuggled a Chipotle burrito and freshly baked cookies on the plane in my luggage... I am not sure how they are going to last under the plane, but I will let you know once I get to Dallas. edit update: It  LASTED the trip, the only thing that broke was the fork.  :) I ate it for dinner when I got to Dallas.

7. TSA had to scan my bag twice because I have all my electronic devices in it... laptop (which I removed), ipod, cell phone, tomtom, charger for phone, charger for ipod, camera... how did we live without all these things?  I kid I kid.  I would give them all up for more conversations with people.  I much prefer paper and pen.

8. The man in front of me has a dog in a dog carrier... is this even allowed on planes?  It is the size of a rat. I hope it doesn't bark the whole trip. 

9. Before I flight I like to find an area where I can spread myself out as much as possible because I know my poor legs are going to be squished for the next few hours.  These are the times that I wish I were shorter.  ha.  This might be the only time that I wished I were shorter, but I am thankful for my height.

Have a great week.  I will check in as much as possible.  If you all think of Jared, pray for him.  He is working 90 minutes from home each day and it is quite a hike to work. He has to leave the house at 5:30. boo.  I am very thankful for my 5 minute drive to work each morning.  I might be able to handle a longer drive with NPR and an interesting story, but I really really enjoy my short little jaunt to work each morning.

I would really really love one of Marie's crocheted felted flower pins to pin to my light blue pea coat.  I think the green one would look the best, but I wouldn't complain about any of them.  ha ha. I might have to break down and buy one soon.   

And I need a new wallet... Jared and I looked at this type of wallet at the Fossil outlet this weekend.  LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE it.  If you click on the link you will see how many pockets this wallet has for cards.  It is the perfect size!  It zips!  And it holds change in the middle and has a place for dollar bills.  I think I might be getting a similar design, but much prettier pattern for my birthday.... :)  Maybe someone might buy me this.  Jared said he would think about it.  It is worth every bit of the $25 they were asking for it.  

This is going to be dinner sometimes the week after next.  I use the recipe a lot, but in a cast iron pan on top of my pizza stone. It makes a perfect crust that way.

And I want to make these because they are so cute!!  It is too bad that I can't make myself eat all things small and cute (such as baby carrots). 

Here is a place I go for baking inspiration (and the desire to move out to mountains - but I really like the east coast).  Look at all these wonderful desserts.  I have tried 4 or 5 of them; they have all been melt in your mouth amazing.

Speaking of snow and Maine... wasn't I speaking of them... oh, I was just thinking about them... anyhow, here is one of my favorite stores in Camden, Maine, "once was a tree".  They sell all sorts of neat wooden things.  I would love to live in Maine.  Do you hear that, oh company that I work for? Why don't you buy another company in Maine, I will move up there and run it for you.  I am just saying... I would definitely consider it. :) SNOW!!

And if you have snow, you need quilts to snuggle under... I might make this... someday. 

or maybe this one.

Speaking of fabrics... MODA

Ruby

Punctuation - there is a fabric in this collection that have ampersands on them.  How awesome is that? &&&

Both of the shown fabrics I have in my house right now.  I am just trying to decide what is the perfect pattern to use them. It is a curse to have a fabric that I really love because I have such a hard time picking the pattern that will use it up.  I would rather let it sit on my shelf and I can flip throw the pile and gaze at its beauty.  But fabric is meant to be shared!  I will get around to making a project out of at least one of these two lovely prints later this year (hopefully). 

A Reflection on shared experiences (and growing old)

So this week I have been in training with 2 people from Mexico (in their 30s) and 2 people my parents age from the USA (Texas and Kentucky) and 2 people from France (in their 40s).  The weird thing to me is that it is not weird to go to basketball games, go out to dinner, and be in training with people older and much older than me.  I don't feel like a kid anymore around older adults. It just dawned on me this past year, maybe it has to do with my job...

It started me thinking about shared experiences and how whenever I see any of these people again, I will be able to talk to them about what took place during training and we will have something to talk about.  It is an interesting concept because before these two training weeks if I had met them on the street, we would have had nothing in common and stared blankly at each other.  Now I know that one guy is a Christmas tree farmer in his spare time and one women loves Dr. Who.  We could talk about these things.  Having a shared experience gives a person a platform to jump off of and start a conversation. 

I am very reluctant to talk to people unless I have that something to talk about.  My personality NEEDS to have everything planned out and several different options.   I cringe at awkward silence during a conversation.  It hurts my brain to think of things to say on the fly. I trend towards what I know; I talk a lot about myself.  Around new people I find myself listening a whole lot more. 

Which brings me to another point, listening.  I have learned over the past year or so that most people just want to me listened to, they don't care what you have to say, they just want someone to talk to.  I have listened to many stories at my job this last year.  People seem grateful just to have someone to talk to.  They are mostly interesting stories (not the women I sat next to on the plane - she was SO SO SO boring, all she wanted to do was to tell me not to have children because all they want to do is take your money and not respect you... she told me she wished she had never had her son because he had tied her down).   There are several things I could say about that, maybe in a different post.

Reading today: Hannah's post on real friendships
Eating: pasta in white sauce, salad
Drinking: Water & Chai tea (with milk and sugar - bleh bleh bleh - I can't wait to go home and have some tea with honey and cream (or half and half)).
Pet Peeve: no tea offering at the hotel, cheap plasticware (I break the fork tines)
Looking foward to: my own bed
Funny moment: doing the cha cha slide in my hotel room last night.  Here is the story: I was studying for my exam tomorrow and I had been studying for two hours and I had sat through 9 hours of training (sat being the key word there - I am used to walking around the plant).  The song came up on shuffle and so I needed to stretch anyhow, so why not dance along. ha ha.  It woke me up and started my brain thinking again. :)

the kitchen table light

Jared and I have a light that is over the kitchen table. The light switch is round and adjustable.  I never turn this light on because it is on the kitchen wall that is the farthest away from the rest of the house.  Jared turns the light on whenever he is in the kitchen, at all times during the day. Many times, when I go around the house to turn off lights, this light is on. It seems to be always on.  My favorite person in the world seems to never notice that the light is on and needs to be turned off. Instead of being able to reach in the kitchen and simply turn the switch, I have to walk across the kitchen and turn off the light.  Until recently this has annoyed me each time I have to do it.  Each time I would think, "ugh, that Jared".

Recently, I have decided to be thankful that I have a Jared to turn on the light and leave it on.  If suddenly my husband disappeared, I would be very sad and probably turn the light on just so that I could go in later and turn it off.   I am thankful for Jared and my kitchen table light (even though I still choose the other kitchen lights to cook with).

And I wish he were in my hotel room to turn the lights on for me. :)

Romans 11:33-36
"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgements and how inscrutable his ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor? Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.”


Our church is doing a fighter verse to memorize each week.  This is the first week that I didn't already know the verse.  I am excited to commit more scripture to memory.  It was so much easier when I was a child, but it is so worth it. 
Isn't this verse wonderful? Just think about the depth of the riches, wisdom, and knowledge or God... there is end to them.  He is abundantly lovely and merciful and wise, for that I am very thankful.  I am glad that although no one knows the mind of God, he is working all things to the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. 

This verse is a huge comfort to me and a wonderful reminder of who God is.  I am glad that I will have this verse to think about when I am sitting still (in the airport, waiting for the bus, sitting at the eye doctors, waiting for a meeting to start).  I can think about God in all those places and worship him for who he is.  He is and he died in my place for my sins.  I rest is His grace and wisdom alone. 

Wisdom from today's sermon: "We must repent of our particular sins, particularly." Also, "We must fear sinning against an infinite God."

Salsa (my favorite recipe)

My favorite salsa recipe +++

another versatile recipe that can be adapted and changed as needed

basic recipe:

*1/2 medium onion

*2 seeded jalapenos

*3 or 4 garlic cloves

*tomatoes to taste

*NaCl (salt)

*lemon or lime juice

additional add ins:

* cilantro

* corn

* black beans

* cumin

* red onion, diced

I have a pampered chef manual food processor.  It is really small and I have to usually make 2 or 3 batches in it to make enough to take to a party or friend's house. I have also made this in my blender (however, it is really smooth that way... just like when you have it at mexican restaurants, I like it, Jared likes it a bit chunky, which is why I usually use the manual food processor).  So, use the blender if you want a smooth salsa, use a food processor on pulse if you want chunky salsa, or cut it all up by hand (especially good in the summer with fresh tomatoes).

1. (food processor) If using a food processor, quarter the onions and jalapenos and garlic.  Pulse in food processor with some lemon (or lime) juice until the desired chunkiness (I usually try for the size of diced garlic or grains of rice - I like the flavor of the onion and garlic to be distributed better than the tomato). If added cilantro, add it in this step. 

2. (food processor) Add tomatoes and pulse a few times until desired thickness.  Dump into a bowl to season.

1. (chopping) If hand chopping, chop up the previous ingredients (onions through tomatoes) and toss in a bowl. 

2. (chopping) use purple onions instead of white onions for a better flavor

3. (both) Add the seasonings (salt, cumin - if using). Stir to evenly mix. 

4. (optional) Stir in black beans or corn. 

Serve with chips or on fajitas or tacos or nachos or salads.  Jared and I eat this stuff all the time.  I find that it gets better after a day or two in the refrigerator.  During the summer I usually make one batch and let it sit while we have another batch to eat (that was made a few days earlier).  This will last about a week in the refrigerator.  

In honor of the return of Sherlock, which can only be viewed in the UK right now. Boo hiss.
Until its return in the states, here are two videos of Benedict Cumberbatch (he has a great voice) that I randomly selected off youtube.  And a review of the next three shows and the schedule listed below for when they will FINALLY show in the US.  Also, they are doing a 3rd season (yay).

"In Spring, 2012, the dynamic, if dysfunctional, duo of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson continues to battle the worst that 21st century London has to offer, including a computer-savvy arch-villain who wants to rule the world and a hound from the hinges of Hell. Masterpiece mystery! premieres Sherlock, season 2, airing in three episodes: A Scandal in Belgravia (May 6, 2012) The Hounds of Baskerville (May 13, 2012) and The Reichenbach Fall (May 20, 2012) at 9pm on PBS (check local listings)."

spaghetti (red) sauce

This is one of my favorite quick dinners. It is so easy to make and quick and tastes amazing (and a bit different) each time.  Throw it over a plate of noodles (or dump them in the pan with the sauce), sprinkle on some melted cheese, and you have dinner!

Tomato (red) Sauce +++

-used for spaghetti, lasagna, stuffed shells, ravioli, and mancotti

* 1 large can diced tomatoes (crushed tomatoes, whole tomatoes, tomato sauce... etc - I use whatever I have in my pantry (ps. I love the word pantry))

* some onion (it is hard to say half an onion or a whole onion because I have no idea what size your onion is... about half a medium onion or 1/3 a sam's club onion)

* some butter

* two or three diced garlic cloves (I have recently started using real garlic... it makes all the difference in the world people... all the difference, it is delicious!)

* (~1/2 - 1 tsp) oregano (wish it was still summer, fresh oregano is better)

* (~1/2 - 1 tsp) basil (dried is okay)

* (~1/8 - 1/4 tsp) a few red chili pepper flakes (the things they serve at pizza places on the table)

1. Fry the onion in about a tablespoon of butter (maybe two).  Cook it until it is semi translucent. You can add the garlic here, but I add it with the tomatoes.  

2. Add tomatoes, garlic, oregano, basic, and chili peppers. 

3. Let simmer 15 min - 75 min.  The flavors are better the longer it sits, but it is good after the first 15 minutes or so.  We usually don't wait.  :) 

+++I don't measure any of this. 

Sometimes I add green beans, broccoli, chicken, ground turkey, meatballs, cheese... etc.  It is a wonderfully forgiving and adapting recipe.  Last night I didn't want to open another can of tomatoes (I was using up some tomatoes that I had opened to make salsa) so I added some leftover tomato soup to my sauce to stretch it out a bit... it still tasted great. My advice when cooking is, never be afraid to experiment. 

Meal plan for this week and next week:
Monday - spaghetti (use up the extra diced tomatoes that I opened to make salsa)
Tuesday night - breaded oven baked fish and salad
Wednesday - rest of spaghetti
Thursday - beef stew
Friday - more beef stew or lasagna (but, I think I will wait until later this weekend to make the lasagna so that Jared has it to eat next week, but maybe I will just freeze half of it)

So, a few weeks before Christmas (2), one of my fillings fell out, which led to me having two cavities filled (the one that fell out and another one).  Well, the other one, which is my last tooth on the upper right (number 2, I now know all about these things) decided to be seriously and dramatically decayed and required a root canal... so the week before Christmas, I had a root canal (merry Christmas to me).  And during my Christmas break I had the temporary cap put on it and NOW TODAY FINALLY I am going to get my permanent cap.  My only complaint about the entire thing is how many trips I have had to make to the dentist to have the one stupid tooth filled.  

My other complaint, which is not about this, is the fact that they sell cough drops with sugar! Why would you sell cough drops with sugar that are just going to decay people's teeth and why did no one ever warn me about this?!?  So let this be a lesson to you, I used to think that only sugary drinks (which I don't drink) and candy (which I normally don't eat, unless it is dark chocolate - and that is good for me) and extra ice cream and cake and cookies (which Jared and I don't keep in the house) would cause cavities and tooth decay.  COUGH DROPS ARE TERRIBLE FOR YOUR TEETH!!!  Give them up now or switch to sugar free before it is too late.  :)  

That is my friendly public service announcement for today.  

I am super happy to finally have this tooth over and done with.  I will be even happier after the numbness wears off this evening sometime.   Have you ever learned something in life that seems like something you should have been told earlier? 

Update for last week on goals:

success: 

* read a bunch of short stories by George McDonald which I am counting as my second book this month

fail:

* caught a cold - lay around on the couch all week and read when I came home from work

* worked 50 hours last week even with said cold

* didn't go to the gym at ALL

* didn't cook

*didn't write any thank you notes

* let Jared clean the house and go grocery shopping for me

This week extra goals:

*finish thank you notes

*bake cookies for winning team at work

*bake english muffins (I am out)

*make more granola (just finished the last of my last batch)

*plan some meals for Jared while I am gone

*pack for trip (I am putting this on my list so that I can cross it off and actually accomplish something next week, ha ha).

I wasn't feeling that inspired to post, so I copied the list of questions for Hannah's blog and answered as many as possible during my lunch break.  Have a great weekend. 

 

current guilty pleasure: Confetti cups - thank you, Mom!

current playlist: Delirious, live from Willow Creek

current read: smooth stones and Tale of Two Cities
current drink: water
current food: popcorn, kettle corn

current favorite show: As Time Goes By
current wish list: patience with quite a few people at my job

current needs: more patience (I have to agree with Hannah on this one)
current triumphs: finishing a 700 page book  
current bane of my existence: a bunch of stuff stacked on my desk at work - grrrr, that is going to have to be done tomorrow (a saturday - boo)
current blessing: my husband

current outfit: jeans (yay, casual Friday), Gap long sleeve skirt, crinkly scarf from Old Navy (deep pink), my PRIVO clark slip ons, and dark purple Gap socks with a little fox on the top of each inside (from Jared for Christmas). 

current excitement: Outlet trip in the future for work shirts

current mood: recovering from a cold and a little grumpy, but thankful for Jared (who cleaned my whole kitchen and did laundry while I lay around on the couch and slept)

Last week I:
* went to the gym 3 times (lifted weights twice)
* made two new recipes (one of them might have been the recipe listed below - from my FAVORITE food blog)
* read 300 more pages of my Brooklyn Bridge book (by David McCullough -- I think that I am really enjoying this book because I am an engineer, but I really think other people would like to too!!  David McCullough is amazing!).
* cooked dinner three times

Goals for this week (on top of the other ones):
* finish all my thank you notes from Christmas (I have two left)
* write some other letters that I have been meaning to write

cookie recipe

Don't they look amazing?  Jared said they tasted like brownies, but better because he could dunk them in milk or hot chocolate.  Unlike what the blogger says, these are definitely good warm from the oven.  Jared has requested these instead of brownies at our house.

P.S. Try smearing peanut butter between two cookies and eating them. Amazing!!

P.P.S. I need to find some engineering journals to read.  This book on the bridge is making me want to study more.

Wasn't today a beautiful day? Jared and I opened up all the windows in the house and aired it out.  Ah, it smells so fresh and clean.  I read over a 100 pages of my Brooklyn Bridge book.  I am over 2/3rds finished.  Being outside makes me happy (hello sun!!!). Speaking of sun, I have seen the sunrise the past 2 mornings - lovely.   I helped Jared with a few things around the yard.  I started off in pants and a sweatshirt and ended up going inside and changing into shorts and a t-shirt.  It was that gorgeous outside.  

 

Do you think it will snow this winter (or even drop below freezing for more than a few days)?  I am really missing my cold weather and some snow.  Oh well, I am thankful for any weather that is below 60 degrees.  :)  

Concerning food

First, did you know that if you leave ham slices in the microwave for too long they will burn?  Weird.  I had never thought about it until today when I actually burned ham.  I usually come home from work on my lunch break (otherwise, people find me and I am stuck working during lunch - boo) and put my lunch in the microwave (or oven) and then run off to the bathroom while it cooks (because my bathroom is SO much nicer than the bathroom at work - over 900 people use that bathroom).  Today I was thawing out some frozen ham slices and thought it would take 3 minutes or so, however, after two the ham slices were turning brown and drying out.  Crazy.  So just in case you were curious... ham burns in the microwave.  ha.

Next, I made a new recipe last night.  I guess that is sort of in my goal of cooking more dinners.  Yes, they were pancakes, but pancakes are a very good dinner (especially when served with eggs and ham).  I have been meaning to try out a recipe for sweet potato pancakes for a while (and knowing me, I couldn't just follow one recipe).   I meshed my normal whole wheat and oatmeal pancakes with a sweet potato pancake recipe and my sweet potato pie recipe.  Easier said this way, I added sweet potato in place of the milk and applesauce and added cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and vanilla to the batter.  They are excellent.  I am having the extras for lunch today (with the burn ham).  :)

A story of why Jared is so sweet.   He was working in Centerville yesterday and so on his way home he stopped at the Outlets in Queenstown and looked around.  He bought me some moose munch at Harry and David, but not just any Moose Munch.  He bought me extreme dark chocolate moose munch and a bag of chocolate and peanut butter.  He told me how he had seen the dark chocolate mixed with the regular and thought about getting it for me, but THEN he spotted the ALL dark chocolate mix.    Just the fact that he knows what I like and that he thought about it makes me so happy.  Jared is very thoughtful when he wants to be.  He also helped me clean the house this weekend before Jamie and Dasha came to dinner and he cleans my bathroom every week and he makes me laugh.  I love Jared.

Have you ever learned anything interesting or weird about how food cooks?   I usually find these things out by trial and error.  Another example, bananas and brownie mix do not ever go together!

Happy New Year (otherwise known as a really random post)

Happy new year, new month, new week, and new day!!

 

I tried to post photos the other night and crashed the computer.  ha.  I posted them to facebook instead.  So, if you are friends with me on facebook and want to see some of my projects, go there and see. 

 

Last night I read for a solid two hours (almost three hours).  I am reading about the building of the Brooklyn Bridge.  It is a great book (maybe I like it because of all the engineering that went into the bridge).  I am almost to page 300 and not even halfway finished the book.  I skipped the gym because 1. it was way too cold and 2. it will be way too pack and busy during January (I don't like new years resolutions to go to the gym, but thankfully they will all be gone in a month or two and it will be pretty empty again) and 3. I wanted to stay home, where it was warm, and read.

 

I don't really have any goals for this year... here are a few things that I have been thinking about that I want to do (maybe if I mention them here, I will actually do them - ha): 

* I would like to take more pictures of life to document what happens (even the boring stuff)

* clean out my fabric stash by making lots of fabric things (so I can buy new fabric)

* lose 5 pounds

* weight train 3 days a week (not just to wimp out by doing just cardio)

* cook more dinners for Jared

* grill more (even in the winter)

* wake up 30 minutes earlier each day

* read 2 books a month (I read 4 books a month during grad school, I should be able to read 2... although, reading a 700 page book should count as 2, maybe I should set a page limit... hmmmm, I will get back to you on this one)

* visit Stephanie and family (see Colorado again!!!)

 

Quick recap of last year:

January - my company was bought by a larger company, everyone else was worried, I thought it was pretty cool from what I read on their website.  I ran the women's retreat and it went pretty well.  Thank God!  It didn't snow and we were able to stay the whole weekend.   :)  Thanks also to all the retreat women that work so hard to organize things.  Started planning VBS.

 

February - I was offered a much more exciting job.  LOVE MY JOB!  Kept planning VBS.

 

March - lots of time spent planning VBS.

 

April - more time spent planning VBS.  Travelled to Chicago for training.  Reminded how much I hate flying.  Wedding shower for little sister planned (over 150 crepes made).

 

May - little sister's wedding and two more showers.  More VBS.

 

June - Other little sister's wedding shower planned.  More VBS.  Happy 25th birthday me. Still loving my job. 

 

July -  happy 2nd anniversary us!!  Little sister's wedding. 

 

August - VBS!!   Thanks to Jeanne for making this a huge sucess.

 

September - teaching lab for SU starts again, staycation to Barbley's and OC for popcorn

 

October - more teaching, vacation to WV to visit little sister, camping in 32 degree weather. Put my little family on a budget.

 

November - more teaching, some baking, lots of quilting for Christmas presents

 

December - trip to Dallas, still hate flying!  found a granola recipe that I really enjoy.

 

----------------------------------------------------

 

That is my quick little summary for the year.  I read a lot of books and sewed a lot of fabrics together.  I didn't do as much cooking as I would have liked this year.    It was nice and warmish this weekend so I grilled out.  Yum yum yum.  Chicken, green peppers, and onions. 

 

book finished: Screwtapes Letters - C. S. Lewis

book to read next - the help (I need to find out if the library has this book)

 

What are you planning on doing this year?  Any exciting plans?

My schedule this week:
Monday - Wednesday:
5:15 gym
6:15 shower
6:30 breakfast
8:00 - 5:00 training
6:30 - 8:30 - dinner with trainer and other classmates
8:30 - 10:30 answer work emails and finish charts and projects

Thursday
5:15 gym
6:15 shower
6:30 breakfast
8:00 - 2:00 training
2:00 - 4:00 drive to Corinth plant (get lost, get stuck in traffic, go really slow because it is raining so hard you can't see)
4:00 - 6:00 - tour Corinth plant -- HIGHLIGHT (other, than Babe's Chicken House) of my trip. Wander around the plant and ask all sorts of questions.  Garner new ideas for projects that I am working on.
6:30 - 7:30 - dinner with dotted line boss and counterpart in Corinth.  Texas smoked brisket, ribs, and sausage. No plates, just a stack of napkins and lots of bar-b-que sauce.  Delicious.
 7:30 - 9 - drive back to hotel (still raining, still getting lost - TomTom and I are not on speaking terms right now... he is not happy in Texas.  I told him to make the best of it, but he froze up and refused to give me any directions.  Found my way back home by myself. I am willing to forget all of this if he can find me a path to the airport tomorrow, if not, I will just follow the planes and signs).
9:10 - filled car with gas so I can return it tomorrow
9:20 - now (11ish) - answered work emails and brainstormed ideas for next week

One neat thing about driving back to the hotel in the rain tonight was watching the planes randomly appear out of the sky and drop in for their landing.   The cloud cover was so low and thick that you couldn't see the lights until just the moment before the plane appeared.  It was really interesting looking.  They looked like alien spacecraft coming in for an invasion.  heh.

Good night!  I am exhausted.  Maybe I can sleep on the plane on the way home tomorrow (Except I have the middle seat...boo hiss... and have lots of work to do for work for next week - I am so behind).  HOME! My own bed!  My own pillow!  My own kitchen! More than one pair of jeans and some dress clothes to wear! Home! I miss you; here I come.  Jared, I can't wait to see you.  I miss you so much. 

Good bye 12th floor hotel room, that I forgot to take a picture of and will probably forget to take a picture of before I leave tomorrow. Maybe we will see each other again in 4 weeks...

things about traveling for work

Well, it has been a great week for training; everyday this week has been rainy and overcast.  I don't feel like I am missing much by being stuck inside.  Although, I would like to see what Dallas looks like in the sun. Maybe when I come back in January it will be sunny.  I hope.   I was thinking about traveling this morning and I decided to make you a list of some of the things I like and dislike about traveling.  Enjoy.


Things I like about traveling:
* trying new foods
* seeing new places (I wish I could see them during the day)
* having time to work out in the gym every morning (being the only one in the gym is even better)
* having my room cleaned for me each day and my bathroom straightened
* driving a small rental car (it is like an adult go-cart - ha ha)
* sleeping (I get to go to bed early and get up early because there is no housework to keep me up)
* reading books (I brought five on this trip, I will finish two)
* airport security (I love you TSA people)

Things I could care less about:
* giant flat screen tv in my room (haven't used it)
* newspaper under my door each morning (haven't read it)
* unlimited coffee (haven't had any)
* four pillows on my bed (really?)
* hair dryer (haven't touched it)
* pool (it fogs up the windows to the workout room)
* desk in my room (I lie on the bed when I use the computer or read a book)

Things I don't like about traveling:
* not being with Jared (the telephone doesn't really help)
* hotel food (bleh. unless it was the hyatt in Chicago, they had incredible hotel food and completely spoiled me)
* NO TEA AT BREAKFAST
* noisy people on the hall
* a shower that doesn't want to turn on (the lever to turn from bath to shower falls off and gets stuck...  I have to fix it each morning and wiggle it around until it finally changes over)
* that the cleaning lady took my notes that I had left on my nightstand -sigh
* airports
* flying
* airplanes (crammed in a little space for multiple hours is NO FUN even before you add in the fact that I HATE flying.  I don't like the feeling of taking off or the feeling or the plane shaking all around.  I don't like seeing the wing move up and down.  I don't like being in a cloud and not seeing anything.  I don't like that I am trapped in a row by two other people and I have to climb over them if I want to use the bathroom (which I try to avoid at all cost.  I don't like the drinks they give you because you have to hold this cup of ice until they finally come back and take it away from you. I don't like the larger people that I usually sit next to that like to STEAL my armrest. boo hiss.  I don't like the air blowing on my face the whole time and drying out my eyes, but I don't like the sick feeling I get when I start to feel too warm (thus, the air stays one).  I don't like wearing earplanes because I have tiny ears and they hurt (but it is better than getting a pressure headache that feels like millions of tiny needles all poking into your forehead). I don't like that they DON'T give you peanuts anymore.  I don't like that the pilot doesn't give me details about where I am and how fast we are going (I am curious about all these things and it might make the flight a whole lot more interesting to me, at least it would give me something to think about).  NOT TO MENTION, I work with people that design the wiring harnesses for these airplanes and I don't trust them.  ha. And those are a few of the reasons I HATE flying, yes, I hate it.)


Funny story of the day:
This morning at breakfast I sat near a table of high school football coaches.  They are staying at the hotel today for their high school's championship football game with 90 kids from the school.  They told the waitress that they from the smallest division and from a small school, but you never would have known that from the ways these guys talked.  I have never seen Friday night lights, but I am guessing that these guys would have fit right in.  It was highly amusing to me to listen to them talk about the team, the play strategies for the game, and how important this was to win because they had to have dinner with the in-laws this year and they would never live down a loss.  They were so serious about football.  It just made me laugh because it was so southern; it is what Jared is always telling me about football down south. 

Have you ever run into any stereotypes that turned out to be completely true? 

One of the best dinners I have ever had...

http://www.babeschicken.com/Babes-Chicken-Dinner-House-Arlington.html

Babe's Chicken Dinner house is the real deal. 

I had fried catfish and all you could eat sides: green beans, creamed corn, biscuits and gravy, and mashed potatoes (for $14).  Wow. 

Plus, the restaurant looked so neat on the inside.  It was made to look like you were eating in the middle of a city plaza.  There are house and store fronts all along the walls.  And roof tops stick out over porches that are build into the eating area.  The storefronts are filled with old fashion items that you would purchase.  And it was all decorated for Christmas with old fashoion light bulbs and old Christmas items (that said Merry Christmas on them).  It was delightful.  The staff lined up and did the hokey pokey at one time and one waitress sang a song later in the evening. 

If you are ever in Texas and need a place to eat, you will be missing out if you do not go to Babe's.   It is one of the best restauants that I have EVER been to.  Wow wow wow.  I bought a t-shirt that I will proudly wear around back home. :)

I am trying to decide to go back there or to their sister store:
http://www.bubbascatering.org/bubbas-cooks-country-menu.html

Have yourself a merry little Christmas…

I have been doing a lot of reading lately (The Johnstown Flood and the Great Bridge by David McCullough – I highly recommend either book – and the Anne of Green Gables Series – I had to stop after the 6^th book, I couldn't read the 7^th and 8^th.  I am sorry if you like them, but they lost their charm for me.  I really enjoyed the first 3 books and even sort of liked the 4^th book, which was mostly letter from Anne to Gilbert while he was at med school, but after that, the books just get more and more unbelievable and feel contrived).  I notice a trend in my life, quilt for a while, read for a while, or cook for a while.  I can't seem to be able to do a healthy balance of those activities.  Maybe I will be able to pull it off once this lab that I am teaching ends and I have a little more free time. 

Last weekend Jared and I decorated the house for Christmas!  I love the way the house looks during the Christmas season.  We pull out our Christmas quilts, table runner, and tree skirt (all made by us, except one quilt from Mrs. Shelton).  I have my little wooden spinning nativity from Germany (love love love) and Jared has his Swedish chimes from Sweden (they both turn around when you light candles under them).   We have our Willow Tree Nativity from the Lunas (thank you thank you). Jared has countless Charlie Brown and Snoopy characters that he sets around (some of them sing and make noise, others sit around looking pretty).  Jared wants to name a child Linus someday… hmmmm.  There are two sets of Christmas dishes that come out and are put on display in the cabinet in our living room (each has its own unique snowman on it), bowls, plates, mugs, and dessert plates. Jared has this HUGE abdominal snow man, from Rudolph, made by Jim Shore, which Hannah gave him.  It is awesome.  Jared thinks it is hilarious to stick it behind the Willow Creek Nativity scene, as if it is sneaking up on them. I find it like that from time to time and have to move it.  Maybe I will get my camera out and take pictures . ha ha ha.  It isn't the taking pictures that I fail at doing, it is the uploading them to the internet. 

Tonight, I have to go to the dentist (to replace a filling that I pulled out while flossing on Saturday night), to the gym, and to the grocery store.  If I have any extra time, I will clean the house and start a new quilt that I have been dreaming about.  I think the plan is a little ambitious, but it is better to dream big. 

I hope your thanksgiving was lovely.  I had an awesome thanksgiving; I agree with my mother, the more the merrier.  She had 20+ people over and we feasted on all sorts of delicious foods.  Yum.  I ate leftovers for 5 days (I finished the last leftovers at lunch yesterday).  It was amazing.  Thanksgiving food never gets old to me.  I am so thankful for my family and my extended family.  J     

Dallas - plan

So I am planning my trip (cough cough food) to Dallas.  Here is where I am visiting so far. ha.

Babe's Chicken Dinner House
LOOK AT THIS MENU (all you can eat sides - what?!? - I am looking forward to some fried catfish and some fried chicken)
Babe's Arlington Menu

Main Dishes
Fried Chicken
Chicken Fried Steak
Fried Chicken Tenders Smoked Chicken
Fried Catfish
Pot Roast

Vegetables & Breads
Mashed Potatoes
Cream Gravy
Green Beans
Green Salad
Grandma's Corn
Homemade Biscuits

Desserts
Chocolate Meringue Pie
Lemon Meringue Pie
Coconut Meringue Pie
Banana Pudding
Pineapple Upside-down Cake
Sugar-free Apple Cobbler

In-N-Out Burgers
Animal Fries
All my favorite food blogs say that it beats the pants off Five Guys and is half the price.
Enough Said

Cheesecake Factory
I ate there three times while I was in Chicago - I know ... sad.  I should have tried some Chicago pizza or something, but it was almost an hour from my hotel.  There food may be better than there cheesecake, if that is even possible.

Dallas

I am headed to Dallas in December.  Do you have any suggestion on anything that I should do while I am there?  I looked to see if there were any plays or concerts in the area the week that I am there, but there aren't.  I really wanted to see the Messiah, but it is showing the week before I am there.  Anyhow, if you have any suggestions, leave me a comment.  :)

My new coworker brought me real Mexican food today that his wife had made.  Yum yum yum.  Did you know there are over 40 ingredients in mole (mole-aye) sauce? I am trying to convince him to come to thanksgiving at my parents; I think it will be a lot of fun if he and his wife come.

I have a really funny story about our HR department, but I really shouldn't blog about it.  It was like being on the Office, but even more ridiculous. Basically, it came down to the HR department complaining about me helping them out.  :D  I can't begin to tell you how funny it is and I wish I could blog about things like this, but I know I would get in major trouble.  ha.  If you want the details, I may be persuaded to talk about it offline (that is a word that has dropped in my vocabulary from work - "let's talk about this offline", I have also started saying, "what are the action items that we can take away?" or "today's take away points are...", oh work).

I am thankful, very thankful, for my 4 day weekend and all the good food that I will partake in this weekend and all the great people that I will see.  I love you all.  I wish I could see my entire family (Hannah and Linnea and company) too, but I will have to be content with the 4 siblings and parents and my in-laws and niece and nephews. 

Lastly, happy late birthday to the best Dad in the whole world and my little, baby sister, Sarah.  I love you both.

Anne of Green Gables

As some of you know, I have been reading the Anne of Green Gables series over the past month or so.  I LOVED the first book, enjoyed the second book, and really liked most of the third book.  The fourth book was way to contrived and the fifth book even more so.  I was extremely disappointed in the plot for the 4th and 5th book because Anne makes everything in the world right by just being there.  Life doesn't work out that way and it started to annoy me.  She sets up 6 or 7 different couples together in the 4th book and plus, Gilbert isn't ever in it. I am currently reading the 6th book (just started).  I will let you know an update after I finish.  I highly recommend reading the first 3.  After that, I could take them or leave them, but now that I have started I am going to finish them.  ha. 

Ha.  I was telling Jared about them and how much better the writing was in the first two and he said, "she probably didn't even write the rest of them."  To quote several characters in the 5th and 6th book, "isn't that just like a man?"

Last part for Anne of the Island

They lingered in the old garden until twilight, sweet as dusk in Eden must have been, crept over it.  There was so much to talk over and recall - things said and done and heard and thought and felt and misunderstood.

"I thought you loved Christine Stuart," Anne told him, as reproachfully as if she had not given him every reason to suppose that she loved Roy Gardner.

Gilbery laughed boyishly. "Christine was engaged to somebody in her home town. I knew it and she knew I knew it.  When her brother graduated he told me his sister was coming to Kingsport the next winter to take music, and asked me if I would look after her a bit, as she knew no one and would be very lonely.  So I did.  And then I liked Christine forher own sake.  She is one of the nicest girls I've ever known.  I knew college gossip credited us with being in love with each other.  I didn't care.  Nothing mattered much to me for a time there after you told me you could never love me, Anne. There was nobody else - there never could be anybody else for me but you.  I've loved you since that day you broke your slate over my head in school."

"I don't see how you could keep loving me when I was such a little fool," said Anne.

"Well, I tried to stop," said Gilbert frankly, "not becuase I thought you what you call yourself, but because I felt sure there was no chance for me after Gardner came on te scene.  But I couldn't - and I can't tell you, either, what it;s meant to me these two years to believe you were going to marry him, and be told every week by some busybody that your engagement was on the point of being announced.  I believed it until one blessed day when I was sitting up after the fever.  I got a letter from Phil Gordon - Phil Blake, rather - in which she told me there was really nothing between you and Roy, and advised me to 'try again.' Well the doctor was amazed at my rapid recovery after that."

Anne laughed - then shivered. "I can never forget the night I thought you were dying, Gilbert.  Oh, I knew - I knew then - and I thought it was too late."

"But it wasn't, sweetheart. Oh, Anne, this makes up for everything, doesn't it? Let's resolve to keep this day sacred to perfect beauty all our lives for the gift it has given us."

"It is the birthday of our happiness," said Anne softly.  I've always loved this old garden of Hestor Gray's, and now it will be dearer than ever."

"But I'll have to ask you to wait a long time, Anne," said Gilbert sadly.  "It will be three years before I'll finish my medical course.  And even then there will be no diamond sunbursts and marble halls."

Anne laughed. "I don't want sunbursts or marble halls. I just want you."

More parts from Anne of the Island

When Gilbert came the next afternoon he found Anne waiting for him, fresh as the dawn and fair as a star, after all the gaiety of the preceding night. She wore a green dress - not the one she had worn to the wedding, but an old one which Gilbert had told her at a Redmond (their college) reception, he liked especially.  It was just the shade of green that brought out the rich tints of her hair, and the starry gray of her eyes and the iris like delicacy of her skin. Gilbert, glancing at her sideways as they walked along a shadowy woodpath, thought she had never looked so lovely. Anne, glancing sideways at Gilbert, now and then, thought how much older he looked since his illness.  It was as if he had put boyhood behind him forever.

The day was beautiful and the way was beautiful. Anne was almost sorry when they reached Hester Gray's garden and sat down on the old bench.  But it was beautiful there, too - as beautiful as it had been on the far-away day of the Golden Picnic, when Diana and Jane and Priscilla and she had found it.  Then it had been lovely with narcissus and violets; not goldenrod had kindled its fairy torches in the corners and asters dotted it bluely.  The call of the brook came up through the woods from the valley of birches with all its old allurement; the mellow air was full of the purr of the sea; beyond were fields rimmed by fences bleached silvery gray in the suns of many summers, and the long hills scarfed with the shadows of autumnal clouds; with the blowing of the west wind old dreams returned.

"I think," said Anne softly, "that the land where dreams come true is in the blue haze yonder, over that little valley."

"Have you any unfulfilled dreams, Anne?" asked Gilbert.

Something in his tone - something she had not heard since that miserable evening in the orchard at Patty's Place - made Anne's heart beat wildly. But she made answer lightly. "Of course. Everyone has. It wouldn't do for us to have all our dreams fulfilled. We would be as good as dead  if we had nothing left to dream about.  What a delicious aroma that low-descending sun is extracting from the asters and ferns.  I wish we could see perfumes as well as smell them.  I'm sure they would be beautiful."

Gilbert was not to be thus sidetracked.  "I have a dream," he said slowly. "I persist in dreaming it, although it has often seemed to me that it could never come true. I dream of a home with a hearth fire in it, a cat and dog, the footsteps of friends - and you!"

Anne wanted to speak but she could find no words. Happiness was breaking over her like a wave.  It almost frightened her.

"I asked you a question over two years ago, Anne. If I ask it again today will you give me a different answer?"

Still Anne could not speak. But she lifted her eyes, shining with all the love-rapture of countless generations, and looked into his for a moment.  He wanted no other answer.

Psalm 139 (ESV)

 

O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,"
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.

Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!

 

I praise God for his grace and goodness in my life.  He works all things to His glory.  Wonderful are his works; I know it full well.  Gracious and merciful is He.  There are so days that His goodness and mercy overwhelms me; today is one of those days.  Today I feel like I can truely say, "I know it full well." and "It is well with my soul!"  Somedays I feel like I am just gliding by, but then God tosses things in your path that you have to trust him fully for. I am thankful for those things that bring me closer to God and allow me to know more riches His grace.

Another section from Anne of the island

This is after Anne has refused Gilbert (two years ago - last blog post) and is basically engaged to another person (he actually asks her to marry him and at that moment she realizes she loves Gilbert, but he is supposedly getting engaged to Christine sometime soon (so says everyone at college)).  Anne graduates and goes home to Avonlea and then goes to visit some friends for three weeks.  When she returns she finds out that Gilbert was sick the entire time and has almost died.  She spends the whole night crying until she sees the hired man and asks him how Gilbert is. To which she thinks, "Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning."

"I've come up to ask you to go for one of our old-time rambles through September woods and over hills where spices grown this afternoon," said Gilbert, coming suddenly around the porch corner. "Suppose we vist Hester Gray's garden."

Anne, sitting on the stone step with her lab full of pale, filmy, green stuff looked up rather blankly. "Oh, I wish I could,"  she said slowly, "but I really can't Gilbert. I'm going to Alice Penhallow's wedding this evening, you know.  I've got to do something to this dress, and by the time it's finished I'll have to get ready.  I'm so sorry. I'd love to go."

"Well, can you go tomorrow afternoon, then?"

"Yes, I think so."

"In that case I shall hie me home at one to do something I should otherwise have to do tomorrow. So Alice Penhallow is to be married tonight.  Three weddings for you, in one summer, Anne - Phil's, Alice's, and Jane;s.  I'll never forgive Jane for not inviting me to her wedding."

"You really can't blame her when you think of the tremendous Andrews connection who had to be invited. The house could hardly hold them all.  I was only bidden by grace of being Jane's old chum - at least on Jame's part.  I think Mrs. Harmon's motive for inviting me was to let me see Jane's surpassing gorgeeousness.

"Is it true that she wore so many diamonds that you couldn't tell where the diamonds left off and Jane began?"

Anne laughed. "She certainly wore a good many. what with all the diamonds and white satin and tulle and lace and roses and orange blossoms, prim little Jane was almost lost to sight. But she was  very happy and so was Mr. Inglis - and so was Mrs. Harmon."

"Is that the dress you're going to wear tonight?" asked Gilbert looking down at the fluffs and frills.

"Yes, isn't it pretty? And I shall wear starflowers in my hair. The haunted woods is full of them this summer."

Gilbert had a sudden vision of Anne, arrayed in a frilly green gown, with the virginal curves of arms and throat slipping out of it, and white stars shining against the coils of her ruddy hair. The vision made him catch his breath. But he turned lightly away. "Well, I'll be up tomorrow. Hope you'll have a nice time tonight."

Anne looked after him as he strode away, and sighed. Gilbert was friendly - very friendly - far too friendly.  He had come quite often to Green Gables after his recovery, and something of their old comradeship had returned.  But Anne no longer found it satisfying.  The rose of love made the blossom of friendship pale and scentless by contrast.  And Anne had again begun to doubt if Gilbert now felt anything for her but friendship. In the common light of common day her radiant certainty of the rapt morning had faded. She was haunted by a miserable fear that her mistake could never be rectified.  It was quite likely that it was Christine whom Gilbert loved after all. Perhaps he was even engaged to her.  Anne tried to put all unsettling hopes out of her heart, and reconcile herself to a future where work and ambition must take the place of love. She could do good, if not noble, work as a teacher; and the success her little sketches were beginning to meet with in certain editorial sanctums augured well for her budding literary dreams.  But - but - Anne picked up her green dress and sighed again.

Some sections from Anne of the Island

This is Gilbert's proposal (end of sophmore year at college):

Gilbert sat down beside her on the boulder and held out the mayflowers.
"Dont't these remind you of home and our old schoolday picnics, Anne?"

Anne took them and buried her face in them.
"I'm in Mr Silas Sloanne's barrens this very minute," she said rapturously

"I suppose you will be there in reality in a few days?"

"No, not for a fortnight. I am going to visit with Phil in Bolingbroke before I go home. You'll be in Avonlea before I will."

"No, I shall not be in Avonlea at all ths summer, Anne.  I've been offereed a job in the Daily News office and I'm going to take it."

"Oh," Anne said vaguely. She wondered what a whole Avonlea summer would be like without Gilbert. Somehow she did not like the prospect. "Well," she concluded flatly, "it is a good thing for you, of course.:

"Yes, I have been hoping I would get it.  It will help with next year."

"You mustn't work too hard," said Anne, without any very clear idea of what she was saying. She wished desperatedly that Phil would come out. "You've studied very constantly this winter. Isn't this a delightful evening? Do you know, I found a cluster of white violets under that old twisted tree over there today? I felt if I had discovered a gold mine."

"You are always discovering gold mines," Gilbert said -- also absently.

"Let us go and see if we can find some more," suggested Anne eagerly, "I'll call Phil and -"

"Nevermind Phil and the violets just now, Anne" said Gilbert quickly taking her hand in a clasp from which she could not free it. "There is something I want to say to you."

"Oh, don't say it," cried Anne, pleadingly. "Don't -- please, Gilbert."

"I must. Things can't go on like this any longer. Anne, I love you. You know I do.  I - I can't tell you how much. Will you promise me that some day you'll be my wife?"

"I - I can't," said Anne miserably. "Oh Gilbert - you - you've spoiled everything."

"Don't you care for me at all?" Gilbert asked after a very dreadful pause, during which Anne had not dared to look up.

"Not - not in that way.  I do care a great deal for you, as a friend. But I don't love you, Gilbert."

"But can't you give me some hope that you will - yet?"

"No, I can't," exclaimed Anne desperately. "I never, never can lover you - in that way - Gilbert. You must never speak of this to me again."

There was another pause - so long and so dreadful that Anne was driven to at last look up.  Gilbert's face was white to the lips.  And his eyes - but Anne shuddered and looked away.  There was nothing romantic about this.  Must proposals be either grotesque or - horrible? Could she ever forget Gilbert's face?

"Is there anyone else?" he asked at last in a low voice.

"No - no," said Anne eagerly. "I don't care for any one like  that - and I like you better than anybody else in the world, Gilbert. And we must - we must go on being friends, Gilbert."

Gilbert gave a bitter little laugh. "Friends! Your friendship can't satisfy me, Anne. I want your love - and you tell me I can never have that."

"I am sorry. Forgive me, Gilbert," was all Anne could say.  Where, oh, where were all the gracious and graceful speeches wherewith in imagination, she had been wont to dismiss rejected suitors?

Gilbert gently released her hand.

"There is nothing to forgive.  There have been times that I thought you did care. I've deceived myself, that's all.  Goodbye, Anne."


Anne got herself to her room, sat down on her window seat behind the pines, and cried bitterly. She felt as if something incalculably precious had gone out of her life.  It was Gilbert's friendship, oh course. Oh, why must she list it after this fashion?

"What is the matter, honey?" asked Phil, coming through the moonlit gloom.

Anne did not answer. At that moment she wished Phil were a thousand miles away.

"I suppose you've gone and refused Gilbert Blythe.  You are an idiot, Anne Shirley!"

"Do you call it idiotic to refuse to marry a man I don't love?" said Anne coldly, goaded to reply.

"You don't know love when you see it.  You've tricked something out of your imagination that you think love, and you expect the real thing to look like that."

Thankful

I am thankful for:

* Skype (so I can see my sister Sarah)

* all my siblings (I have the best siblings and I love them all so much!)

* the Sunday School lesson on listening yesterday (I realize that even though most of the world does not listen well, I can listen to them and hopefully they will sense a difference in the way I listen.  Although, it could be frustrating to look at how often I am not listened to (or that lists of things I leave my employees sometimes do not get done exactly how I ask for them to be done), I choose to focus on the fact that I can learn to be a good listener.  I am thankful for a great book that my father and Mr. Seipp are teaching in Sunday School.  I am thankful that they are willing to teach up how to be peacemakers.  It is funny how simple listening can be and yet how hard it is at the same time.  God, make me a good listener for you.