Sunday, July 27, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
* This week (Monday - Friday) I was camping with my family in beautiful Deep Creek Lake in western Maryland. We hiked, relax, saw the olympic kayak team practicing, and saw Dark Knight (AMAZING MOVIE) at midnight on Thursday night. It was great. I love camping with my family and I can't wait to take Jared along camping with me!!! YES!
* Saturday night I went to the Delaware State Fair with Rachel Townsend, Hayley, and Jared. I stuffed my face full of all sorts of good food. I had Grottos Pizza, kettle corn, carrot cake, and strawberry pie. It was amazing. I love summer.
* Tomorrow I leave to fly out to Colorado to visit Steffy and Sarah Meadows. Anna and I are going to Whit's End, Pikes Peak, the Air Force Academy Chapel, Red Rocks, Denver, and all sorts of other fun places. I hate flying, but I look forward to being there. Funny, I miss Jared already though. What will I do with myself?!?
I'll blog again next week when I get back. I'll be back on Wednesday (the 30th). :D Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Wanting home, wanting him,
Closing my heart to ev'ry hope but his,
Leaving the home I love
Since I had a suspicion that Jared was going to ask me to marry him Friday, June 28, I had a little time to think about it. At first, I didn't think that was such a great thing because at first thought I just wanted to tell him to wait. But then I thought that I would probably just keep telling him to wait for forever, if I had told him to wait. Once I started thinking about it, I realized the only two things that were keeping me from rushing into marriage (other than school - heh) was the fear of growing up and not wanting to be the first to leave my family.
Growing up is not fun. I mean it is, but at the same time I just wanted to stay 10 for the rest of my life or maybe to stay 17 (and a senior in high school). Or to bounce between those two ages, with the knowledge that I have now. I wanted all my siblings to stay frozen in time and for my family to go camping together and to laugh together forever. However, that is not how God designed this life. We get old. We grow up. We leave our families and go own to have our own. The memories we made with our families remain, but we start to make more with new people and in new places. It isn't bad, just hard sometimes. But God is good. I know that he doesn't ask you to do something and then not give you power to do it. And things that seem like they are going to be hard are good for you because you have to depend on God alone for your strength because you know you can't do it by yourself.
As to the second reason, I have already been the first one to leave my family. I went away to school two years ago. And I am the oldest so it makes sense. I will still see them and can still have fun with them. I just won't be there whenever I want. This is probably the harder one for me to swallow. I miss my family so much when I am away at school. I miss being a part of their lives, not just them. I miss sitting in Sarah's hallway talking to her until all hours of the night, being teased by Luke, and trying to be heard at the dinner table. I miss my Dad giving me hugs and leaving me presents under my pillow, I miss my Mom's cooking for me, and Anna asking me to take pictures with her. And it is hard for me to know that I will be in the same city as them, but living a different life. I know I will see them, but I won't be there to catch every job and hear every story that happens. It makes me sad. Sigh.
I realized that if God is calling you to something you should jump right in and face your fears. He knows what he is doing and delaying that is going to just cause you more trouble. I didn't have any valid excuses for not saying yes. Skip over the next paragraph... it is sappy.
I think Jared is a great guy. He encourages me Biblically and points out things in my life that I need to work on (but he does it without making me feel less then him). In the past year he has become so much more caring then I could ever imagine. He tries to look for ways to make my life easier and encourage me. Like when I drive the 2.25 hours back to school, he talks to me on the phone while I drive. This may not seem like much, but 1. I dislike driving and 2. He dislikes the phone and 3. A year and a half ago he wouldn't have done this. He took me to see Leeland this past semester. Again, this doesn't seem like a lot either, but Jared doesn't like concerts and he doesn't like much CCM music. And he went to Delirious with me two weeks ago!!! That was so awesome because he gave up his seat for standing with me at the front. And it was probably the last Delirious concert I will go to. If you had asked me two years ago who did more work in our relationship, I would have said me. I remember talking to my mom about this and how I felt like I was the only one that ever gave anything. Now I feel like Jared is so thoughtful all the time and doesn't give me enough chance to give of myself. heh. I have no reasons not to marry him. He makes me laugh. He knows how to communicate his way through a fight that I have started. He is patient with me and he points me to a great walk with Christ. I thank God for having blessed me with him. I thank God for last summer.
God is so good to me. I trust him. I look forward to seeing what the rest of my life holds. Happy negative one anniversary, Jared! I look forward to spending my life with you.
Monday, July 07, 2008
Last July I had to say goodbye to my dear cat. My parents took her to be put down because Tiger had caught a bat and we didn't know if it was rabid. But she ended up coming back. I thought she was going to be put down, but instead last minute they just put her in a cage for six months. This time she won't be coming back. I really thought that since I had cried my eyes out last summer and had prepared for her to die that I wouldn't be as affected this time around. I think the part that makes me cry the most is thinking about whenever I used to cry. Marble would come running from whereever she was. Most people though she was a grumpy cat, but she was the sweetest, dearest cat to me. When I cried she would run over and still her little head in my face and curl up next to my head. It was so cute. She'd let me cry into her fur and do whatever I wanted to with her in those moments. I cried with her a lot over the past 14 years. She was my baby; she listened to everything I said. I'll miss her little marbled face. She's had a good life and I thank God for my funny little cat. Goodbye my furry friend. I love you.
Pictures from December 2006.
The fireworks got rained out and Hayley, Rachel, Jared, Laurie, Luke, and Michelle and my family sat in my living room with the lights off and watched the lightning and rain outside. It was fun. I like doing random what-other-people-might-consider-boring events with my family and friends.
Hayley, me, Michellle --> my friends are both taller than Jared... weird.
My dad wears this shirt every year. He was explaining to a group of us this year that is doesn't work out very well to wear it on St. Patrick's day or Easter. Dad, also left me m&m's under my pillow when I came back this weekend. YAY!! They were peanut m&m's. Yum yum yum.
A table shot. This is the 4th for me. People eating in my backyard. Eating so much food until you burst. I love it.
Saturday, Michelle, Sarah, and I went to visit Jared's cute little house (and no Jamie, I didn't get pictures - maybe someday). Then we went and picked blueberries out and drove down to the Taylors for some board game and sailing fun. Also, really awesome food and confetti cup fun!!! I don't know what it is about confetti cups that I love, but they sure are good. Mrs. Taylors grilling is always good. She even cooked my meat well done for me. How sweet. It was delicious. Hayley even made us a cherry pie for dessert. That was awesome as well.
Sunday my Mom made me sweet corn and green beans from the garden before I drove back to college park. The sweet corn was amazing. I had at least 7 ears of corn before I left!! I left at 2:40 and arrived in College Park around 6:30. Yes, it did take that long to get back here. The traffic was awful. Boo holiday beach traffic. Michelle and I listen to Prince Caspian and the Voyage of the Dawn Treader on the way back. Then as I was carrying in my stuff I found this in the back seat: