Going to Arizona to have a blast with my dear family!!
I'll be back on May 31st.





Thanks Anna for the fun photos!

Hold Me Jesus
Rich Mullins

Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

CHORUS:
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

CHORUS

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

CHORUS

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Held
Natalie Grant

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

This hand is bitterness.
'We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrows.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

Bridge:
If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

Job 42:2-6

2 "I know that you can do all things;
no plan of yours can be thwarted.

3 You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?'
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me to know.

4 "You said, 'Listen now, and I will speak;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.'

5 My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you.

6 Therefore I despise myself
and repent in dust and ashes."

Psalm 94

1 O LORD, the God who avenges,
O God who avenges, shine forth.

2 Rise up, O Judge of the earth;
pay back to the proud what they deserve.

3 How long will the wicked, O LORD,
how long will the wicked be jubilant?

4 They pour out arrogant words;
all the evildoers are full of boasting.

5 They crush your people, O LORD;
they oppress your inheritance.

6 They slay the widow and the alien;
they murder the fatherless.

7 They say, "The LORD does not see;
the God of Jacob pays no heed."

8 Take heed, you senseless ones among the people;
you fools, when will you become wise?

9 Does he who implanted the ear not hear?
Does he who formed the eye not see?

10 Does he who disciplines nations not punish?
Does he who teaches man lack knowledge?

11 The LORD knows the thoughts of man;
he knows that they are futile.

12 Blessed is the man you discipline, O LORD,
the man you teach from your law;

13 you grant him relief from days of trouble,
till a pit is dug for the wicked.

14 For the LORD will not reject his people;
he will never forsake his inheritance.

15 Judgment will again be founded on righteousness,
and all the upright in heart will follow it.

16 Who will rise up for me against the wicked?
Who will take a stand for me against evildoers?

17 Unless the LORD had given me help,
I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death.

18 When I said, "My foot is slipping,"
your love, O LORD, supported me.

19 When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought joy to my soul.

20 Can a corrupt throne be allied with you—
one that brings on misery by its decrees?

21 They band together against the righteous
and condemn the innocent to death.

22 But the LORD has become my fortress,
and my God the rock in whom I take refuge.

23 He will repay them for their sins
and destroy them for their wickedness;
the LORD our God will destroy them.

Favorite things!
Shopping with Dad and eating Grottos Pizza with Dad.
It's the best.

Gaze at God and glance at your problems.

Thank God for allowing the human body to run even after only four hours of sleep for the last week. I'd say it was a miracle. I praise God for His strength. Time for one of my favorite Delirious songs, Miracle Maker.

I’m waiting here for my life to change,
When the waters stir you can rearrange me.
Just one touch is all I need,
I’ve nothing much but the wounds I feel,
I’m looking for the hand of the miracle man.

Holy, you are holy,
Who was and is and is to come.
Holy, you are holy, Saviour, Healer,
I’m standing at the feet of the miracle maker.

I’m holding on, with your life in mine,
Living water’s come,
And you’ve rearranged me.

Holy you are holy,
Who was and is and is to come.
Holy, you are holy,
Saviour, healer,
I’m staring in the face of the miracle maker.

Holy, you are holy,
Who was and is and is to come.
Jesus, precious Jesus,
Thank you, Saviour,
I’m walking in the shoes of my miracle maker.
I’m standing with the faith of a miracle maker.


Yeah, Delirious is awesome!

I hurt more than I have ever hurt in my life. I am tired of pretending that everything is fine. I am miserable and I want to come home to my family! I am SO tired of being stong and pressing on when the world seems to be crashing in around me. I am so tired of not understanding what is going on and why. I want answers. I hate being in limbo. I just want to give up. I KNOW that there is a plan for my life. I know that there is a reason for everything that we go through. It just hurts so much when you think that you have done everything you possibly can that is right and still things come crashing in on your head. It hurts to have your trust and respect broken to pieces. I hurt.

Pray for me to be content.
Pray for me to trust the will of God.
Pray for me to delight in his perfect will.

** Luke posted two new photos that I think are quite amusing.

** Hayley posted new France pictures and stories. w00t!

** Linnea posted new spring vacation pictures.

And that is all the blogs I checked today. ha.

Maybe more later.

Guess how many days I have until I come home?

I'll give you a clue... it is the same number of exams I have left...

How about another clue...

You're so vain
Your probably think this post is about you, dontcha?
haha.

Love you!!




This post is for my brown eyed and haired sister!
My sister is gorgeous!!!
And her new haircut is beautiful!
I was only going to post the last picture, but she told me I had to post the other three. haha. So enjoy.
I love you, Anna!!

Happy Graduation 4.0, sister of mine!

I am so jealous. heh.

I would like to take a moment and testify to the glory of God. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I haven't been able to study as I wish I could have. In all of my classes I had a low A and I needed a good grade on the final to secure that A. So it was killing me that I couldn't study as much as I needed to, but I prayed for peace and that I would accept whatever God's will was for my finals, whether I aced them or if I failed them. He is in control. Yesterday's final (Vibrations) wasn't that bad and I think I did okay on, maybe not A material, but I am pretty sure I at least got a B, which should be enough for me to be in the top 15% of the class and receive my A.

Well, anyhow, that isn't the main story. The story of God's extreme faithfulness in my life is today's final. I walked into my final today and stared at a 18 page final, mostly written answers. And I chugged away and answered most of the questions well (maybe 80 percent were absolutely correct and the rest were put down any information that sort of makes sense). Well, halfway through the time limit the professor realized that the copy center didn't print four of the pages of the exam; the exam was originally 24 pages long. So instead of making us do those problems, he put them up on the board and told us that we could do them for extra credit or we could exchange them for problems that we thought we had done incorrectly on the 18 pages that we did have. I looked at most of the problems that were left out and I saw that I would have done very poorly on a few of those problems and I was very thankful that these pages had been left out. But there were a few problems on there that I knew extremely well and I did them and swapped them out for a few of the problems that I wasn't quite so certain on.

So I definitely got at least an 100 on my exam and hopefully even higher because of the extra credit. So instead of getting a 70 or 80 like I would have if we had to take the entire exam, I am going to get an A. It is wonderful. God is so good. He has a great sense of humor. I really appreciate his care for me and my life. :D Woohoo. I praise God for life, even when it is rough, he still makes his grace and glory known to me. I may not always understand His timing, but it is perfect. I can't argue with that. His plan for my life is so much better that I could ever imagine. I believe that, even when it is hard to see the reasons for troubles. What a wonderful savior is Jesus my Lord!

To my dear Mother,

Happy Mother's Day!!

I think you are the very best mother in the entire world. I am so thankful that you are my mom. I love you very much and when I have time this summer, I will give you my present. I have had this great idea in my brain for quite some time, but I never got around to it. So you have a surpirse to look forward to. heh. Don't get your hopes up, it isn't too grand. Anyhow, wishing you the best! I love you very much.

PS. Tell Dad I love my car! I am so glad to have it back and it is so nice to be able to merge smoothly again. :) Oh, and the strawberries are absolutely glorious!! WOW! I love strawberries!

My hope is built on nothing less,

than Jesus's blood and his rightousness!

Psalm 20

1May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
2 May he send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.

3 May he remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings.
Selah

4 May he give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.

5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.

6 Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed;
he answers him from his holy heaven
with the saving power of his right hand.

7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

8 They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.

9 O LORD, save the king!
Answer us when we call!



Vicky Beeching

Yesterday, Today, and Forever

Everlasting God
The years go by but you're unchanging
In this fragile world
You are the only firm foundation
Always loving, always true
Always merciful and good, so good

Yesterday today and forever
You are the same, you never change
Yesterday today and forever
You are faithful and we will trust in You

Uncreated One
You have no end and no beginning
Earthly power fades
But there is no end to Your kingdom
Always loving, always true
Always merciful and good, so good

So after my last class from 11-1:30, I went and had lunch with my half Iranian, 1/4 Brazilian, 1/8 Swiss, and 1/8 German friend. heh. We like to laugh at each other because we both have no life other than engineering. I tease him all the time because we spend so much time in either to library or the engineering computer lab studying. We don't take the same classes because he is a semester ahead, but we both were plagued with slackers in our groups this semester and so we would rant and vent to each other. He is 6'4'' and doesn't open doors normally; he kicks them open. It amuses me. He makes me laugh. He has the sort of personality that either you love him or you hate him. Most people think he is really annoying because he is so smart and is always studying and working hard, but I appreciate that. I wish I were as smart as Cyrus.

We went to a little Vietnamese restaurant for pho. Two of his friends, who are TAs in one of my classes, are Vietnamese and they go there a lot. I linked an article about what pho is for you all to read it you want. Basically it is a soup with beef, onions, rice noodles, bean spouts, fat, and the inside of cow's stomachs. Yes, I ate the insides of cow's stomachs today. It was flavorless. heh. If you look in the picture of the soup that I posted, the things that look like onions, those are actually pieces of the inside of the cow's stomach. Weird.

And here is a picture that I stole off facebook so that you all could picture what Cyrus looks like. He only had two photos and you couldn't see the other one it was blurry.

I really don't think that the birds should be chirping when you go to sleep...

Well, it is 2:28am and I just finished the two take home exams. I got kicked out of the library tonight because I was there so late. They close the place up at midnight. So I had to move to the engineering computer lab. I have never gotten kicked out of a library before. heh. I forgot to move my car to a closer parking lot and so I had to walk out to my car (don't worry Mom, my Iranian and American Indian friend walked me out to the parking lot).

Oh, and right now I am starting the last two pages of my fluids project. I shouldn't be writing this, but when we got to our group meeting today, not only did I find out that the conclusion wasn't written, but also the lab report isn't written as well! Talk about being mad. I am completely upset. I can't wait to fill out the group evaluation forms and rant about how little work my group members did. An improvement though, my youth pastor group mate is doing his work and he actually does it when I ask. I am very happy about that. So I told him that I would finish the project report if he would write the lab report. We spend about four hours this afternoon JUST sorting out the mess that was made with both reports. We had to cut out all this stuff that doesn't even make sense. It was ridiculous that we are having to do this the night before both reports are due! It isn't like these group members had hard things to do, but by doing them incorrectly, they have made a huge mess! It is extremely frustrating, but tonight is the last night that I will have to stay up and do their work for them. I promise to never be in a group with them again!!!

After we figured got some of the mess sorted out (from 2-6:30), I headed off to the engineering library to start doing our take home tests and write my part of the report. Let's just say that it took so long that they kicked us out of the library and we had to move to the engineering computer labs (because they are open 24/7). By this time I was starving because I never had dinner because I didn't think it was going to take this long to do everything. Man. It is too late to eat now. I'll just eat a big breakfast tomorrow.

This is the end folks!! I can see it. Only a few more hours until I will be finished with this project forever. HOORAY. I'm going to be completely wiped out this weekend. I may just sleep all day Saturday. Oh wait, I have to finish the Dewalt final report, write a memo for english, do vibration homework, grade 90+ homeworks, and study for those three crazy hard finals this weekend...

Let's say you were up until three last night putting the citations into your final 24 page long English research paper. Then let's say that you have to get up at 7 so that you can read over it one more time and then be at class at 9 (which means leaving the house at 8:30). After you get out of that morning class (and you have already had a cup of coffee), you know that you still have to go to one more class, a meeting from 2-4 to finish a final report, another meeting from 4-6:30 to finish another report, and finally a group study session at 7 to work on studying for the final exam and such. And once you go home you have to grade 90+ homeworks by tomorrow.

So what do you do?!? Well, you think about that Seven Eleven on the other side of campus and you wonder if you should go buy a slurpee or an energy drink... the choice is hard... You don't even know if the energy drink will work because you have never tried one before and you really want a slurpee. WELL, you finally get to seven eleven after crossing the entire campus and thinking about this choice the entire way there (all of about 15 minutes of walking) and when you get there seven eleven has read your mind. That is right folks, seven eleven now serves slurpee energy drinks!!

As I write this entry I am finishing up my 40oz full throttle and mountain dew and cherry lemonade slurpee mix (it is half full throttle, 5/12 mountain dew, and the last little shot of cherry lemonade). "Hey guys, I mixed THREE flavors together!!" heh. So anyhow, there really isn't a point to this entry except to comment about how weird it was to see energy drinks in slurpee form. It amused me that I didn't have to choose between the two. I don't know if it is working. Maybe I should go get a refill. heh. Oh and a blue and a white straw is the only way to drink a slurpee (go tar heels!).

I heard this song on my way to school today. It made me smile.

33 Miles - What Could Be Better
From the album 33 Miles

I’ve heard it said today
Is all we’re given
Tomorrow may not come
So you better start living
I guess it all depends
On your point of view

Pardon me if I
Just don’t listen
To everything the world
Say’s I’m missing
There’s nothing here and now
I’m gonna hold on to

Chorus:
I’m living in the days ahead
I’m already dancing on the streets of gold
Can’t stop celebrating in my soul
I’m living in the days ahead
Nothing on earth could ever compare
Can’t wait for the day when I get there
When I see Jesus face to face
Tell me what could be better
Tell me what could be better

If home is where the heart is then I’m in Heaven
It’s the promise of tomorrow
That I’ve been given
Who is waiting there I am living for

He’s everything I love
And I believe in
And I can hardly wait
Just to see Him
And hear Him say well done
I couldn’t ask for more

Chorus:

Life is full of ups and downs
Inside outs, round and rounds
Can’t blame me for dreaming about it

Chorus

Welcome to a little bit of my world.
This is why I sometimes really want to go to graduate school here!

NASA Flight Simulator
Really awesome spiral staircase!!
I want one in my house!!
I forgot to get a picture of the human powered sub, but here is the helicopter.
And finally, some really pretty flowers that I found outside today on a sidewalk that no one goes on. Why aren't these out in the open where everyone could enjoy them?!?

Anyhow, enjoy.
I love University of Maryland.
I'm a terp (but a terp that loves tar heel basketball...heh).

What a Friend We have in Jesus

*We sang this in church today. I forgot how much I love this hymn. I hoepe you all enjoy it as much as I do. It is a great reminder of God's faithfulness to me. I so often bear needless pain and forfeit peace because I don;t look to God for strength. I love this hymn! And as Pastor Shelton so often reminds us, this world is not our heaven, our heaven awaits us!! Isn't that a glorious thought?

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.

Guess who is sitting next to me in the library?

YAY!!

Guess who came to see me?!?

That's right. I was sitting in a computer lab at UMD and I got a call inviting me to dinner. It was Anna, Rachel, and Mrs. Taylor! They came up and had dinner with me and then coldstone! Woohoo! Man, guys it was so good to see you! You don't know how happy you have made me. It was so so so so good to see you. You have made my week. I am so thankful for all of you! Thank you, thank you for thinking of me and coming to surprise me. It was such a treat to see you all! I love you so much! THANKS AGAIN!!

AND...

Happy Birthday, Beach Sister!!!