(You) got to have faith!

I went ice skating today with Anna and Hope (it was more like plastic/wax skating), but it was a lot of fun. Then Anna, Hope, Anna, Rachel, and I went to the MVA to turn in my car's tags (we sold my car - how sad). And while we were there, we sat in the parking lot and watched people take there drivers tests. It was entertaining.

I spent the evening playing cards and laughing with my family. I think I just remember the good times when we play cards. Haha. Mom would probably tell you that we have a miserable time playing cards because we are so mean to each other the whole time we are playing. And all of us are breaking into song and talking and not paying attention to each other. But it is so much fun. It is home. I love being home. I love my family. They are certain. They will always love me.

I wish life were certain. I guess that I just want to be prideful and know where my life is going. It makes me very uncomfortable to admit that I don't have a clue what I am doing with my life. I want to be in control. But then why would we need faith? I wouldn't matter (You could do some sort of play on words there about how Faith needs to not matter and faith (not capitalized) does). The past couple of days I have been working on trying to get some sort of engineering internship worked out before I head back. See I would really like to know what I am doing this summer. But most internships don't make their decisions until May. This means, until then, I don't know what I am doing. I could be taking summer classes, or I could be working around here, or I could be working near DC somewhere. So, what is it?!? I don't know and won't know until Mayish. I am beginning to think that life is one big lesson in patience and trust (both of what I seem to not be as good as I thought).

Also, I am scared to death to get the internship that I want because what if I fail. What if I am just a huge disappointment?!? I may have good grades and be able to memorize things well for exams, but what if I can't apply those things to the real world. I really am not that smart. What if I let people down? Growing up is not fun! It is a lot of work.

I guess I just need to remember that God is gracious in mercy and love.
I need to trust him. I need to have faith.
You gotta have faith, right?

To deny the Divine decrees would be to predicate a world and all its concerns regulated by undesigned chance or blind fate. Then what peace, what assurance, what comfort would there be for our poor hearts and minds? What refuge would there be to fly to in the hour of need and trial? None at all. There would be nothing better than the black darkness and abject horror of atheism. O my reader how thankful should we be that everything is determined by infinite wisdom and goodness! What praise and gratitude are due unto God for his Divine decrees. It is because of them that "we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose" (Rom 8:28). Well may we exclaim, "For of Him and through Him, and to Him are all things: to whom be glory forever. Amen" (Rom 11:36).
- A.W. Pink

God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?
Numbers 23:19

Good night, blogging world.